I’m an unusual figure who stands above the crowd when I’m on stilts. I’m a physicist who practices patent law and translates dead languages into computer-readable code. I’m also a circus performer. I specialize in Chinese pole, aerial silks, trapeze, and I can do some hand-balancing tricks if properly coaxed. I’m one of only a few people in the world who can do the infamous flag circle. I was Mel Gibson’s butt double in Braveheart. I have more upper-body strength than Stephen Hawking, better fashion sense than Lady Gaga, and I once fought Chuck Norris in a battle of wits (I won, of course). I have a black belt in the deadly kitchen fighting arts, including tofu and cookie dough.

I enjoy having fun. I can accurately predict the exact time and location of the local psychic fair. I am a three-time champion of the Vatican’s frog-tossing competition. I own the registered copyright for the registered copyright symbol. Weather forecasts do not apply to me. Linguists swoon over my ability to create clichés. I’m a master of all trades and a jack of none.

I teach whirling dervishes how to whirl. Mathematicians are impressed with how I frolic, and all my bills are paid on time. Once I memorized the entire human genome and sang it to the tune of Stairway to Heaven. My figure skating skills are well known in Ethiopia. I was awarded the Nobel Prize in absurdity, I received an Academy Award for Best Audience Member, and I got a Grammy for not being Britney Spears.

Sometimes I hang upside down for no apparent reason. Once I starred in a popular boy band. Then I reached puberty and started a man band. I am a connoisseur of fonts, a comrade in arms, and a conman in New Jersey. I successfully petitioned the Geneva Convention to reclassify accordion music as a war crime. Once I was invited by Dick Cheney to go water boarding (I declined, of course).

My primary motivation at MM is to meet people who also work in the entertainment and modeling industry, and to work with many different people and new projects.

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